Died before Death

I hope you would like this one. This is the latest poem that I’ve written. It reflects the grief that stuck with me for a long time. As I tried to ponder over life’s meaning and the way it leads us till death, I could finally figure out that our life is nothing but this simple poem.

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Caution: The poem is quite long. But, if you get in tune with it, you’ll never know when it gets over.

I was born; everyone was happy,

I didn’t have anything but smiles and tears,

But the world taught me not to cry,

As I was a boy and boys needed to bear.

They set rules and boundaries for me,

They taught me how to speak in a language,

They told me what was right and what wasn’t,

I didn’t decide on any turning page.

 

I slowly began to grow much bigger,

My organs had developed quite a lot,

My voice started to become hoarser,

“Decisions are made by elders,” they taught.

A part of me did not want to follow them,

“I should be allowed,” I said.

But my voice was nipped in the bud,

My ability to decide died before my death.

 

Then it was time to leave school,

I chose a path for the first time,

But I felt like I was making a mistake,

Since I had only known how to mime.

I had joined an undergraduate course,

They made me learn Caesar and Macbeth,

When all that I wanted was to read romance,

My ability to blunder died before my death.

 

Still happy, I graduated after a few years,

I got a job in some good company,

But they pressurized me with new workload,

And I had to do everything to earn money.

I still accepted whatever my bosses told,

On my health, I decided to lay a wreath,

But my peers couldn’t see me succeed,

My ability to stay happy died before my death.

 

I found a girl, with whom I fell in love,

I didn’t know that it wasn’t true until,

She left me after a year and three months,

I cried but hid it from the society, still.

I found another girl; the end was the same,

Love, now, became no less than meth,

I couldn’t differentiate between love and lust,

And my ability to love died before my death.

 

After years of tireless job, I retired,

I wanted to travel all around the world,

But my health wanted to keep me back,

So I prepared myself and unfurled.

I chose to work out and be fit,

But my body didn’t quite give in to it,

I failed in my plan and let myself down,

My ability to be able died before my death.

 

Still, I didn’t lose hope but worked out,

Within a year, I fought with my troubles,

And went to a foreign land to see its beauty,

To enjoy and bring back experience in doubles.

My decision remained lively and joyous until,

I started to be on the receiving end of hatred,

Of racism, of bigotry and of prejudice all along,

My ability to discover died before my death.

 

Finally, I couldn’t walk or talk much,

I became an old, bed-ridden grandpa,

When I pondered over my long life,

I realized that I hadn’t lived at all.

I lived in fear, unable to do anything,

Only did I know before the last breath,

That I lived not for me but for others,

And I had already died before my death.

 

– Inscribed By,

AddKluZiv

(15.07.2016)

2 thoughts on “Died before Death

  1. so they say have the courage to live today.
    here’s what I read somewhere:
    ‘Be an extremely good boy or girl for 20 years; simultaneously never really believe blindly in the long term validity or seriousness of what we’re being asked to study. We need to be outwardly entirely obedient while inwardly intelligently and unashamedly rebellious”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I believe that’s what I’ve always been 😉
      Although it would’ve been best to let it remain a secret, I’ve decided to let it go now.
      I’ve been a polite and extroverted individual on the outside, but only I (and a selected few) know that I am unashamedly rebellious and introvert on the inside.
      😀

      Liked by 1 person

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